Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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