Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
