You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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