looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
