you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
