Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Randomize
