Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
