wrigley field is MILF paradise
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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