You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
