I accidentally burped into my bong.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
