I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
