Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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