Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
