Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
