he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The adults are the big ones right?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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