Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
