what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
