they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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