Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm at about main and main street
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
