lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
