I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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