i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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