She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
