Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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