my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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