As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My vagina just clenched in fear
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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