i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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