My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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