Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
