i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
