Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
