her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
if only i could text you this smell
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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