FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
