I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
