i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
