thus making me awesome and them whores
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
