You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We need to rekindle our bromance
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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