Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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