Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
