david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize