doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
