I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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