Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
