oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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