She's like a pop up book from hell.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
