My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
