My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
