Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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