there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She even gives head with a lisp.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
