I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
